Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Topics: God, Fire, Arson, Greeks

Monday, 27 August 2007

image for Fire at Olympia! Prometheus sought for questioning; Brangelina held as a material witness by Athenian authorities
Prometheus sought for questioning by Athenian authorities for suspicion of arson in fire at Olympia

Athens, Greece - Prometheus, disappointed with what man has done with the gift of Fire he gave to them, reportedly decided to take it back. Unfortunately, as he was returning to Olympia, he ran into some old college-drinking buddies. Together they attended a symposium (Greek for drinking party) were he began to drink heavily, while he still had Fire in his custody. Later, Greek gods and goddess, in attendance, reported that they over heard him say he did not feel so good.

"Yeah, and he did not look good either," said Angelina Jolie.

"His face started turning a yellowish hue and he began complaining that his liver was hurting him," said Brad Pitt. "I told him, 'Dude, take it easy on the Ambrosia.' But he just kept drinking it down like it was, well, Ambrosia "

"We offered to give him a lift in our Chariot of Fire," said Brangelina, "Because we never let friends drink and drive but since Prometheus took Fire back from mankind, we couldn't get it started. Last, we saw of him, he was stumbling off the well-lit path headed for the Acropolis. To look up an old girlfriend, he said. We should followed, but he said he wanted some alone time before he faced his old flame again."

"We aren't sure what happed after that," said Athenian authorities investigating the matter as a possible arson. "That's why we have had to detain Brangelina as a material witness."

Athenian authorities say, due to the on going investigation, officially all they can say they know is that fire broke out all over ancient Olympia.

"I thought it was the Pagans again with their annual Burning Man festival out of control again," said a resident of Olympia. "Like that's going to last. I hope the Olympian City Council votes to exile them to the desert once and for all, but when I heard Prometheus was back in town, I know right of way what happen. I bet he was drunk, too. He always gets like that when he drinks."

According to Olympians, Prometheus, like most Greeks has longstanding unresolved father issues. In his case, ever since he got into a heated argument with his Titan father Iapetus over slipping fall term college grades.

That argument carried over to Zeus, then the College Dean at the University of Mount Olympus, the other authority figure in his life, where Prometheus was attending as an exchange student.

When he was asked by his professor to do a simple class project to create man out of mud and water, he decided to sneak into the Dean's office, steal Fire and give it to the man, which really pissed off Zeus.

"He never really took his studies seriously," said Prometheus's former professor, "Although he was a bit of a perfectionists and an overachiever, but couple that with a party 'til the dawn of man attitude, throw in an Oedipus Rex complex and you got trouble."

Apparently, when Prometheus had too much to drink, he talks of confronting Zeus with the Fire he stole all those years ago and wondered up into the Olympian hillsides possible passing due to his intoxication or liver failure, possibility both.

"I knew this would happen," said Cassandra. "But did anyone believe me?"

Athenian authorities consider Prometheus missing but just officially declared him a person of interest at the time of publication.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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