SOUTH POLE, Antartica - With the news of a major oil repositories discovered in Victoria Land, Antartica, the U.S. military has been put in motion.
"We know those penguins are hiding Weapons of Mass Destruction. " says President George W. Bush, "They have such sinister looking faces and everything. Ever since 9/11 we can't trust anything sinister, so..."
A U.S. naval fleet has been sent to the South Pole.
Citing an imminent aviary threat to mankind, the U.S. administration began an early morning invasion of the icy continent. "We want to protect the Antartican people from the tyranny of those nasty birds. Ever notice how they flop around? It's all a cover. They're really quite insane." said Colin Powell, "We can't wait for a diplomatic solution. We have to liberate the area immediately."
Michael Moore, the Oscar winning documentary film reacted quickly with a press conference - "Any time you have penguins against you, you know your number's up. This is a ficticious reason to go to war - I mean come ON! Terrorist penguins?!" said Moore, "We all know the real reason, right? It's the oil... O - I - L. There! I spelled it out for everyone."
Militant members of the alleged terrorist network Al-Penguins did not comment. Apparently they don't speak English anyway... which, of course, makes them the enemy.
Oil futures have, however, gone up in value. American Oil companies say investors should be bullish about the Antartican invasion - um - PROTECTION of Antartican interests. It's good for everyone...
... except the penguins.