Several anonymous United Nations sources reported today of the Galactic Origins Domination Project. Government whistle-blowers praise it as next to Heaven in scope.
"Society needs to realize that today's advancements far surpass anything that even the most average educated person thinks to possibly contemplate," began the secretive UN statement.
Brain implant and quantum computing technology has led to amazing top secret nanotechnological advancements that the UN sources claim have "infected every intelligent life form on this planet."
The microscopic implants record and transmit the contents of people's minds, from moment to moment thinking to holistic esoteric thoughts, and save them to an underground storage facility, read the statement.
"We are all under the influence of the 'powers that be,'" continued the statement. "No one is informed of the infection."
The extraordinary technology is being operated under the control of an "open-ended spiritual-based belief system" outside the "religious dogma that currently dominates society" and New World Order factions dominating politics finished the statement.
People are instructed not to panic unless they deserve to go to Hell.
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