Written by Dan Holmes
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Elections, Friends

Monday, 8 March 2004

image for Putin - "Stalin and I were just good friends"
Is that a moustache we see developing on his top lip....?

Vlad "The Impaler" Putin, Russian President and predicted winner of the upcoming Russian Presidential Elections, was today scornful of claims that he is the ‘New Stalin'.

"I really don't know where these ideas originate. Just because I've banned free speech, re-introduced the KGB, and have started to torture people in custody, everyone starts calling me Stalin. So I sacked my cabinet? Let's get one thing clear. Stalin never once sacked his cabinet. He simply shot them all."

Russian voters feel the same. "Putin like Stalin? Don't make me laugh" said Moscow resident Yuri Zhivago. "Stalin was a real man. Never hesitated when harsh punishment was required. He'd put you alive into a furnace soon as look at you. Putin would never think of that - he's too soft. Just a quick beating with a chain and then the cattle prod on the bollocks. It's not the same."

"When will you Western Imperialist scum realise that things are different now?" asks Putin as we run over a few pedestrians in his Zil limousine. "It's a new world order. Bush is the boss, I'm just an also ran. It hurts - but hey, I'm a big boy. I can take it."

"And in any case Stalin had a bigger moustache than me. So far."

Make Dan Holmes's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 1?

4 19 11 5

Go to top