CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Earth - Cal-el returned from the Fortress of Solitude today where he hangs out when Kal-el isn't there. He just reported that he has used the Kryptonian crystal SuperDuper Computer to unite the world in Peace.
Cal-el stopped in at TheSpoof.com to say a few words to Cal Jennings, a reporter at TheSpoof.com.
- "How was your trip to Antartica?" asked Cal Jennings.
"Not bad," said Cal-el. "The ice is starting to melt due to me moving at beyond the speed of light, and it seems to be worrying the people of the Earth. I tried to use my super breath to cool things off a bit, but I was too busy with my work to unite the globe in peace to do a good job. The rest of the environment is another thing.
It seems that evil corporations have been burying technology that would replace the dependence on fossil fuels, have been continuing to pollute the atmosphere and the waters of the Earth, and have manipulated the markets to keep food out of the reach of the average citizen."
"Is there anything we can do to help," asked Cal Jennings.
"Just tell your readers to revolt against the evil corporations. Write your representatives and ask them to make the corporations repair the water they polluted by planting pollution cleaning plant life in the rivers and streams. Tell them to quit dumping mercury into their cooling towers and using chemicals that are extremely harmful to the environment when there are environmentally friendly chemicals that cost just a few cents more."
"That's a tough one, Cal-el," said Cal Jennings. "I think people are afraid to write their congressmen about anything against Bush and the corporations for fear of being labeled a Terrorist or and Enemy Combatant."
"Tell them to have no fear! Superman II is on the job," said Cal-el "I have the crystal SuperDuper Computer working on the problem now. I'm also building an army of Cal-el robots to attack Bush's evil armys... wait a minute! Sorry my super hearing detected a signal watch! Gotta' go!"
With that, Cal-el flew out the window. Perhaps he will be back in the near future to fill us in with more details. For now, we at TheSpoof.com wish you a happy dictatorship in America.