La Habana, Cuba (IP) - Our international reporter in Key West, Florida received an anonymous tip that the Island of Cuba went to visit a psychiatrist due to its inability to admit that Maximum Leader for Life and El Presidente of the Permanent and Everlasting Socialist Worker's Paradise Fidelito Castro died back on Christmas day of 2006 and other guilt issues.
Yes, the entire Island was uprooted from its geographic location and geologic base and went to Miami to visit a psychiatrist specializing in closure issues and political anorexia as it pertains to islands and peninsulas.
Geographic locations have feelings too. The problem with the former pearl of the Caribbean is that it just can not and has not been able to accept the huge irony of Castro passing away on Christmas day. It is as if his passing on that day represented some kind of gift to the million refugees who turned tail and fled the island.
One benefit of the island leaving when it did is that it missed out on the effects of hurricane Dean which was a category 4 storm when it passed just south of the island's usual location.
The island smelled of stale cigar smoke, sugar cane juice, guava pastries, and rum as it curled up in a fetal position in the specially designed country couch and asked the Doctor, "What was I supposed to do? Announce that you-know-who died on Noche Buena? Next thing you know no one wants to come back to the island due to its lack of infrastructure and its addiction to washed out socialist philosophies from the 19th century that have never worked anywhere. How embarrassing is that? Even the farm animals have left, taking their chances with the Straits of Florida on rickety rafts."
The animals finally realized that some people (those in charge - the ruling class) had along been "more equal than others."
The psychiatrist told Cuba that first it must admit it has a problem and that it must return the one-billion dollars that Fidel squirrled away in the Caiman Islands to the impoverished Cuban people. It must also have enough balls to admit Fidel is dead and then let the chips fall where they may. "You used to be a fun place but no more, what with all of those executions, confiscation of property, and the jailing of folks just because they don't see eye to eye with phony revolutionary wanna be's. Cuba's Castro was just like all of the tin horn dictatorships through out Latin and Central American history that have been nothing more than dime-a-dozen pick pockets"
Cuba sobbed and said, "Have you got any tissue paper?"