Written by Prem Shah
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Topics: Cats

Monday, 20 August 2007

image for Woman Arrested For Eating Pussy
Some cats, in case you'd never seen any before.

LONDON (Defecated News) - It is story that has shocked many animal lovers, but none more than Gladys Funk of East London, who caught her daughter cooking Gladys's cat. The story started some years back when Gladys had invited her daughter Rachel and her prospective son-in-law Daniel round for dinner.

"It was simple really", recalled Gladys in her hospital bed. "I made dinner, they came round and we finalised the wedding details. My husband died the previous year from an exploding prostate."

But the nice, quiet meal turned out to be anything but. "I was suffering from flatulence due to my anti-depressants and at the dinner table I let of a few quiet ones. Hot ones, if you understand me."

"Rachel was furious and Danny soon left her. I though she'd forgiven me. But oh no, she hadn't", Gladys explained.

Three years to the day later, Gladys returned home from line-dancing class to find Rachel skinning her beloved cat Fanny.

"When I saw her with her hands on my Fanny, it sent a shiver down my spine and left me speechless. She took a knife and peeled the fur and skin away and then cut out the flesh, throwing it into a plate. She then ate the flesh and I fainted." Gladys was rushed to hospital and Rachel was arrested and sectioned under the Mental Health Act.

Rachel Funk is due to stand trial for animal cruelty next summer. Gladys is expected to make a full recovery from her shock, but her pussy was mutilated beyond repair.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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