ATLANTIC OCEAN (Heewack News Network) - Despite the threat of sanctions by the Bush Administration, Tropical Storm Dean developed into a full-fledged hurricane and said if would come ashore "if it wanted to."
"The Bush Administration doesn't scare me," laughed Hurricane Dean, now with sustained winds of 75 miles per hour. "The American people don't listen to Bush, and neither do I!"
Bush press secretary Tony Snow said the administration would seek to have Hurricane Dean reclassified as a "terrorist organization" and freeze its assets. "The United States has no tolerance for rogue storms that threaten the American way of life," he said.
Democrats in the House and Senate blasted the Bush Administration, calling the formation of Hurricane Dean and Tropical Storm Erin in the Gulf of Mexico as "yet more examples of the incompetence of the failed Republican agenda."
"President Bush vows to protect the American People, yet he allows hurricanes to form at will on our shores," said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., said the Bush Administration knew as early as this spring that hurricanes would attempt to form in the Atlantic Ocean this summer, yet did nothing about it.
"It boggles the mind that the Administration had this information ahead of time, yet ignored the warnings," Pelosi said. "Because of this inaction, the hurricanes have already won."
Pelosi said she would introduce legislation this fall that would ban hurricanes from forming. "Someone has to protect this nation, and it's clearly not the Bush Administration," she said.
Snow blasted Pelosi's comments. "The best approach to combating hurricanes is to reduce taxes," he said. "With all due respect to the Speaker of the House, she's a $&^@."
Meanwhile, Dean said he would vigorously defend any attempts by the U.S. to weaken him. "I'll give the Bush Administration a 'surge' all right," Dean snorted as he toyed with a 30-foot sperm whale that made the mistake of surfacing in the vicinity. "Death to America!"