Written by monkeyman
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Topics: Riot, Insects, fly

Wednesday, 15 August 2007

image for Wasp Riots
Fly spray in use in Bonn

After scientist Professor Tori Spelling (no relation) released a report stating that he had proved wasps are spiteful bastards, demonstrations have been held in several European cities by pro-wasp activists.

Demonstrations turned to violence in London, Madrid and Bonn.

In London, police charged demonstrators after they started burning pictures of Donny Osmond, the outspoken Mormon anti-wasp singer. 10 protestors were injured and several police horses had to be put down.

Riots broke out in Bonn where heavy-handed police used fly spray on wasps peacefully attending the march; at least 500 wasps are reported dead.

In Madrid, Donny Osmond was attending a tooth conference and was pulled from the stage by protestors. Security guards managed to rescue the singer before being lynched.

Pro-wasp spokesman, Derek Lambeth, said in a statement "We regret the loss of all life but after the fatalities in Bonn we would have fully condoned the lynching of Osmond. However the message we want to get over is that wasps are not just spiteful bastards, they have a very important part to play in the ecosystem, it is unfortunate that a few worker wasps go on a bender once unemployed at the end of the summer season."

Scientist remain divided.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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