McDonalds Corp., Global HQ - Eager to cash in on the low-carb, macrobiotic and other dietary crazes sweeping the fast food marketplace, restaurant giant McDonalds corporation has announced that it will phase out Super sized products and introduce Micro-sized items.
"We're even adding a few new items." says company spokesperson Brian McDonald (no relation), "We're adding micro-sized onion rings that are so small you can't really even see them."
Customers have already responded with their wallets. "I'm just glad somebody finally gets it!" says customer John. Q. McDonald (again no relation), "When I pay for fast food, I want it micro."
Micro-sized food portions have many distinct advantages, say marketing experts. "They're small, portable, light-weight, and most importantly they don't add to the waistline." says Diane McDonell, a marketing consultant.
Ms. McDonell predicts that micro-sized fast food may be with us for a while. "Just think of the savings in shipping these products alone!", she notes, "We could ship so much food around the world we could end starvation.'
A corporate spokesperson for McDonalds indicated that there was no plan to end starvation although the company does have plans to send micro-clowns to make poor people smile. "It's part of the micro-magic philosophy," said the spokesperson, to bring micro-joy to those who are less fortunate."