Eighteen Nigerians arrested for violation of a state ordinance on sodomy have been tried and found guilty and will be executed Tuesday morning at sunrise. The group, led by Abu Buba, were all found in women's clothing near an illegal gay wedding.
Homosexuality is banned in Nigeria and is punishable by death in a seven year old federal law.
Buba claims that "we weren't packing the fudge! We were attending a Monty Python dress up party. They let the guys with the silly walks go. They let the guys with the dead parrots go. They even let the lumberjacks go. They arrested those of us who came in drag and charged up with being sodomites!"
"Some of the men grabbed a bunch of bananas and tried to attack them, but they had their sixteen ton weights ready and took care of them."
Buba claims that life in a Nigerian prison awaiting execution is grim. "We can't get any cheese from the local cheese shop as they seem to be out of everything. They keep serving us these candies with dead, crunchy frogs and anthrax in them and saying that this is a fit meal."
"They asked me which kind of execution I preferred. I told them that I wanted to laugh to death after being told the funniest joke of all time, but they were not amused. I think I'm going to get sat on by Rosie O'Donnell or one of the other local elephants."
And now, for something completely different:
Actress, comedian, and talk show host Rosie O'Donnell announced a trip to Africa to assist the government of the poor, starving nation of Nigeria.