Written by Noshing Mink
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Topics: Police, Portugal

Monday, 6 August 2007

image for Bank robbery filmed on CCTV - Portugese police stumped
Police photofit of suspect bankrobber

A 35 year old man was filmed robbing a bank in the Portuguese town of Praia da Luz by CCTV cameras.

The man, whose face was clearly visible throughout the robbery, was wearing a t-shirt with his name on it, chatted up the female cashier who was filling up his loot bag and gave her his address and telephone number, left his fingerprints all over the door and even combed his hair during the robbery, leaving DNA samples everywhere.

Portuguese police say they are stumped and have no clues. "Zees vaz clearly a very well-planned robbery", said Portuguese police Captain Gordo Estúpido in a possibly fake accent. "Vee plan to arrest a British businessman, call him an official suspect and search his garage every 2 weeks to make it seem as if we are doing our job." He added: "And for good measure, we have repainted the bank walls to destroy any evidence there may be there."

Portuguese police are well known for their laziness and stupidity. Indeed, well-known Simpsons cartoon character Chief Wiggum is said to be based on every Portuguese policeman. An expert on Portuguese Policemen told our reporter that they sleep most of the day and pretty much all of the night. "They are so pathetic that they read the Mystic Meg column in the Sun Newspaper to try and solve crimes. It's a fair assumption that Mr. Rodriguez of 45 Algarve Street, Praia da Luz will get away with this robbery."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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