Chicago, Illinois (IP) - MackaFee internet security provider president Shmendrick R. Ipoff made a tearful appearance on I.P. News Network and confessed that his company is nothing but a rip off run by incompetent geeks and admitted that their software had made it difficult if not impossible for customers to navigate the internet.
Millions of irate MackaFee users have for weeks been getting a message on their computers that the web site they are trying to reach is not available or is experiencing technical difficulties and have also been repeatedly been getting an error message that their computer must shut down because MackaFee's Site Advisor has encountered a problem and needs to close.
Mr. R. Ipoff says that MackaFee's customers will have to pay big bucks to fix their computers via his company's slower-than-a-snail downloads and that even if they switch over to his competitor, Morton, that they will still be billed for another year's use when their current year expires.
Mr R. Ipoff apologized profusely and said he would kill himself by hanging except for the fact that he has a sty full of obese bimbos that he is forced to maintain due to a tic-like nervous habit that he has suffered from for years which requires their expensive presence.