Enrique Pablo Gonzales, a 36 year old Mexican farm laborer, told The Spoof today that he has never seen a UFO or anything unusual in the sky.
"I look up at the sky all the time", Gonzales said through an interpreter. "Every time I look up I never seen a UFO or nothing. Sometimes I see planes, birds, bugs but never nothing from outer space. One time when I was nine years old I saw a helicopter for the first time and I thought it was a UFO but then my mama told me it was not".
According to Mexican officials, Gonzales is one of six Mexican farm workers who has never seen a UFO. "We are trying to figure out exactly why he has never seen one", said Eduardo Medina-Mora, Mexico's Attorney General and former director of Public Safety. "Like many migrant farm workers, Mr. Gonzales may suffer from poor vision and may need glasses."
Gonzales disputed Medina-Mora's assertions. "I can see fine. I can see street signs over a mile away. I can't read, but I can see them".
"He must have seen them. We've all seen them", said Mexican President Felipe Calderón. This man is crazy. Don't waste your time interviewing him".
"I have seen over 100. Maybe 200", claimed Mexican businessman Jose Cantata.
Even Gonzales coworkers were surprised that he has never seen one. "I haven't seen a lot. Maybe 8 or 9", said Pablo Rodriquez, Gonzales's supervisor. "I think he's just so busy working that he doesn't look up enough".
The Spoof was unable to locate the other five Mexicans who have never seen a UFO.