Written by Cal Jennings
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: George W. Bush

Saturday, 4 August 2007

image for When Will Bush Decide He Has ENOUGH Power?
Don't be surprised if you see THIS in your front yard!

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington - President Bush added power to the power to the power to the power that he gave himself by issuing the Executive Order: Blocking Property of Persons Undermining the Sovereignty of Lebanon or Its Democratic Processes and Institutions.

First, he passed the Patriot Act which basically overrode all but one of the amendments in the Bill of Rights. Next, he signed the National Security and Homeland Security Presidential Directive which basically gave him the power of a dictator during a crisis of great evil, such as someone writing something nasty about him in their blog and ruining his government social functions. Next, he signed the Executive Order: Blocking Property of Certain Persons Who Threaten Stabilization Efforts in Iraq. Now it's the Executive Order: Blocking Property of Persons Undermining the Sovereignty of Lebanon or Its Democratic Processes and Institutions. Is there no end to President Bush's lust for power? Which country is next?

President Bush has already hired former UK Prime Minister, Tony Blair. On the day he stood down as Prime Minister, he was appointed official Envoy of the Quartet on the Middle East on behalf of the United Nations, the European Union, the United States and Russia. Then, the president brainwashed or bribed Gordon Brown (see Gordon Brown Assimilated by Bush Borg). It's obvious that the United Kingdom is already within his grasp.

On Friday, the Senate passed the Bush terrorism spy bill giving him authority to eavesdrop on suspected foreign terrorists without court warrants. Meanwhile, The House rejected a Democratic version of the bill.

The bill "will give our intelligence professionals the essential tools they need to protect (bring terror upon) our nation," said Bush. "It is urgent that this legislation become law as quickly as possible."

Democrats excoriated the GOP plan, which Sen. Jay Rockefeller, D-W.Va., said "provides a weak and practically nonexistent court review."

Sen. Russ Feingold, D-Wis., angrily chastised his colleagues for bending to the administration's will, saying, "The day we start deferring to someone who's not a member of this body ... is a sad day for the U.S. Senate," Feingold said. "We make the policy - not the executive branch."

Civil liberties advocates said they were outraged that Democratic-led Senate would side with the White House. One spokesperson said, "We're hugely disappointed with the Democrats," said Caroline Fredrickson, legislative director for the American Civil Liberties Union. "The idea they let themselves be manipulated into accepting the White House proposal, certainly taking a great deal of it, when they're in control - it's mind-boggling."

"I hope that there are no attacks before we are able to effectively update this important act," said Rep. Lamar Smith of Texas, top Republican on the House Judiciary Committee, hinting at the new terrorist attack that Bush is scheduling, according to a 'gut feeling.' Bush has said he would reject any bill that his intelligence director deemed unable "to prevent an attack on the country."

"We've worked hard and in good faith with the Democrats to find a solution, but we are not going to put our national security at risk," Bush said after meeting with counterterror and homeland security officials at FBI headquarters Friday morning. "Time is short… Our scheduled terrorist attack that will allow me to declare Martial Law is coming up on the calendar. I'd hate at' hafta' reschedule the attack. This bill will be more likely to protect the American people against terrorist attacks by those harm doers who want to do us evil. Those evildoers who want to do us harm … well, you know whut ah mean."

Make Cal Jennings's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 1?

7 2 21 16

Go to top