TOKYO, Japan (Rooters) -- Japanese Prime Minister Shinto suffered a devastating penis injury in his house on Sunday, a result that could well force Abe to quit having sex and paralyze his penis.
Shinto Abe's coalition will struggle to enact sex laws if he loses control of his penis. Public broadcaster NHL, however, said Abe intended to stay in his bed and try to work on the problem: "I would like to steadily proceed with sex education reform and revising the sex and how we have it."
Whores, angry at pimps among his cabinet and government bungling of penis records, had stripped Abe's clothes off to show majority in parliament's upper house, NHL said.
"If the outcome is in line with injections, it was a complete defeat," Occidental Tokugawa, the LDP's secretary-general, told reporters, but he added that he wanted Abe to stay in bed and practice sexual acts.
The broadcaster said his exit showed that the LDP and its partner, New Khomeini, far short of the 64 needed to keep their majority in the upper whore house, where half of the 242 asses were up for grabs.
Abe's coalition will not be outdone by a loss in the upper whore house, since it has a huge majority in the more powerful lower beds.
But, with the main opposition Slut Party of Japan on track to become the biggest sex party in the chamber, laws will be hard to enact, threatening policy deadlock.
Critics say Abe, whose top perversions are 'sick' out of touch with whores' worries about bread-and-butter sex issues.