It has been revealed that Astronauts going on space flights might have been over the legal limit for operating a 400 million pounds of thrust interstellar vehicle. NASA is taking the allegations very seriously even though they were the ones green lighting the drunken rocketry.
Test pilots, combat pilots and Astronauts have an unwritten rule, 12hrs from bottle to throttle. 12hrs being the standard sobering up period between being totally inebriated and dog fighting. The fact that pilots even have a standard allotted time between being hammered and killing the enemy or docking up to the space station is the thing most people find alarming.
In recent history there was a mishap during one of the docking procedures and the space station was damaged. Hummm….any correlation there?
Is there really a big elite party going on in space no one is invited to but Astronauts, well this certainly explains female astronauts. The space station is pretty boring without a little drunken tail to chase. Cite the Lisa Nowack incident recently, did that stem from wild space station sex orgies?
One Astronaut who wished to remain anonymous stated, "Look, astronauts are generally pretty intelligent people, the best of the best and all, do you really think we'd let them strap us to one of those roman candles sober? Rockets are dangerous vehicles they blow up without warning. Drink? Hell yes we drink, I usually have a NASA doc. hook me up with a Valium, morphine, THC, Jack Daniels cocktail. It's the lift of before lift off, Bottle to throttle is right, you have both in your hands for the duration of the flight.
From the desk of
Buck E Filbert