In an effort to increase the number of straight, heterosexual priests, the Vatican introduced a new habit for nuns. The new clothing, which more closely resembles a very skimpy Roman toga, is designed to make men want to be around women more.
In a press release, the Pope said that "We want to bring men back to the church. We also want to give the sisters more of an old fashioned look. What, really, is more old fashioned than the clothing that the women wore when Emperor Constantine founded our church."
Catholic High School boys all over the world greeting the announcement with cheers. Said David Hernandez of San Antonio, Texas "I wouldn't mind getting a few swats on the backside from Sister Margaret if she's wearing that get-up!"
The announcement was followed by scores of requests the world over wanting to know the "benefits package" for Catholic Priests.