Written by Jean Le Fete
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Friday, 27 July 2007

image for U.S. Open to Change to Grass Andy Roddick Furious! Roger Federer Ecstatic!
Goodbye hardcourts! Hello Grass!

Today U.S. Open Officials at Flushing Meadows announced that this year the U.S. Open Tennis Championships will revert to traditional grass. Standing amid piles of concrete and asphalt Andy Roddick came to protest in person, but was too late.

"This is....devastating," said a dejected looking Roddick, "How could they do this without asking the players first? I know long ago they use to have grass and a lot more clay, but to change now is just crazy!"

Roger Federer has not been to see the construction yet, he's in California this week playing golf with buddy Tiger Woods. "I think I'm dreaming," said Federer, "I started my day playing golf with Tiger Woods and now I hear my favorit hard court championship is even better now with grass. What a day!"

"This is ridiculous," said Jimmy Conners, current coach of Andy Roddick, "Wimbledon is the premiere grass event and the U.S. Open has been the premiere hardcourt event. To change that now without notice, is just insane."

"It really is the best for the sport and the players," said one official on condition of anonymity, "If we are to improve our country's success on grass and clay, then we must play more on grass and clay. I've been in contact with several other tournaments and they have assured me they are planning to change as well."

Watch for more developments on this story.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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