Written by Noshing Mink
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Wednesday, 25 July 2007

image for Jet lag turns Beckham into child again
Brooklyn swears revenge on his dad for naming him after a bridge

A freak accident has caused football superstar David Beckham to regress into a 4-year old child.

The accident happened while Beckham, wife Victoria and their children Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz were flying from England to California, where they intend to live for the next few years. Beckham has already signed a multi-million dollar deal with a Californian club Galaxy to teach them to use the word "football". The accident is likely to put his career on hold for the next 12 years until he grows up again, though close friends admitted that could take a lot longer than 12 years,

The couple met with celebrities including Elton John, who was heard commenting to Victoria that her dark glasses looked even more ridiculous than the ones he wore in his younger days. Beckham had to be carried around in his wife's arms and was put to bed at 6.30.

Scientists are already working on an explanation for the bizarre rejuvenation and on how to reverse it. Several different theories have emerged. The most popular is that Beckham was poisoned by a Russian agent in the employ of President Putin, as revenge for not joining a Russian team. Another theory is that he collided with an earlier version of himself in another dimension and they accidentally exchanged places. Professor James T. Nerd suggested that the "new" Beckham may be "from the evil Universe" and we should all "take care".

Reports of the incident have prompted thousands of elderly people to buy tickets to America in the vain hope of cheating death. Professor of Islamic Theology Mohammed Khan said "We'll see about that".

The Young Beckham is said to be enjoying Los Angeles, having dragged his wife to Disneyland and Sea World, where he played with dolphins and looked up some women's skirts. Nothing new there.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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