Delhi - A 109-year-old woman was today found on a rubbish tip, where she had been discarded by her family. She was described as being in good health, but rather disgruntled at her ejection from the family home.
Reporters besieged the family, wanting answers as to why they'd dumped the grannie.
The head of the household, Guptar Singh, said, "She'd come to the end of her usefulness. She was getting rather poor at looking after the kids, because she couldn't bowl a straight cricket ball any more, due to arthritis, you know. So, we had a family meeting, and decided that she had to go. As we have no money for a care home place, we decided to leave her on the tip, along with the other rubbish."
A spokeman for Packiwaste, who run the tip, said, "The depositing of animals, live or otherwise, is discouraged, as is abandoning grannies. We have no method of recycling such items, and do not intend to put out a skip for all and sundry to discard excess relatives. We will keep the grannie in a seperate area for 2 weeks, or until the family come and reclaim her. Otherwise, we will have to sell her on ebay, or put her up for adoption as a town mascot somewhere. Fees will be charged to the family."
A Government spokesman stated that the Government did not wish to be involved in what is essentially a local matter, but could not condemn wanton grannie dumping as they have had a policy of family size reduction for some years now. "There has to be a better solution. Perhaps local Councils could find a way to recycle these unwanted relatives, or at least have some way of disposing of them. Perhaps crushing is an answer."