MANHATTAN (NY,NY) -- Perez Hilton is the Internet's most devilish gossip columnist and he currently resides in Manhattan with his pet poodle Mariel. His signature colors are blush and bashful. His favorite drink is a Viagra Martini, and his motto is "I'm gay, but I'm not as big a slut as Paris." He loves animals, enemas and animus. He is also now the new President of Israel.
Supporters say the international prestige of Mr Perez, who up to now has been admired abroad far more than at home, as a gossip blogger of PerezHilton.com - Hollywood's Most-Hated Web Site! - could lift the Presidency from a disgrace heaped upon the office after his two predecessors were ousted by scandal.
Mr Perez, the two-time parterre who has never won a national election, has said the Presidency could be his last service to Israel. "I love Manhattan, the Bronx's and Staten Island too much to leave forever," a packing Mr Perez said, his pink hair bobbing up-and-down on the suitcases.
"The Israeli embassy phoned me and said I'd won, and I said, like what, and they said the Presidency, and I am, like, being picked up."
This may help solve Perez's recent legal troubles with the paparazzi, who have sued him for ripping off their celebrity photos. At any rate, a pink haired gay man who loves to party, can't be all that bad for Israel right now. Oh, and he likes Arabs too -- and I mean he REALLY likes male arabs.