Written by March Child
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Sunday, 15 July 2007

image for Bid Laden support for Gay Marriage
Admirer of Robin Hood

A new video of the al-Quaeda chief was posted on the internet today in which he called for praise and understanding of "our brethren who share the same bed". Though bin Laden has been rumored for sometime to be extremely close to a number of his fellow fugitives this is the first occasion in which the subject of homosexuality has been touched on since his enforced hiding.

In the two hour video bin Laden refers to the "pressures of living together" and the "common cup from which we all drink". One passage talks of the isolation which has "brought us all unusually close." Though forbidden in the Koran, it is thought the al-Quaeda fugitives, thought to be living freely in the deserts of northern Pakistan, have formed a society largely based on a misreading of the life of Robin Hood and his Merry Men.

One unnamed source in Pakistani intelligence said "we believe bin Laden is fostering a radical new interpretation of scripture in order to pave the way for his own gay marriage sometime later this year." In the video bin Laden can be seen exchanging approving glances with a bearded man known to the CIA as bin-Dancin-al-Nite Furya, a former Afghani wrestler.

Alan Shabber, author of "The al-Queda Cookbook for Men" believes bin-Dancin has been instrumental in bin-Laden's new approach to male society. "bin-Dancin was really a breath of fresh air to the terrorist organization. He was the first to part his beard down the middle for instance. This may seem a small step, but you're talking about a very repressed society where even squatting down was seen as feminine. Now they're all squatting and even combing each others beards! Bin-Dancin is apparently a very good cook and has encouraged the other refugees to participate in fund-raising barbeques and jam-a-thons. Bin-Laden is said to be very partial to his goat soufflé."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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