Her Majesty the Queen has officially severed all links with the BBC over the fake footage scandal, Palace sources have said.
The Queen has received an apology from BBC Director-General Mark Thompson but, she says, this is not enough, and has asked the corporation to respect her wishes and not to bother her.
Problems arose during the filming of a BBC documentary A Year With The Queen, when a photo shoot with Annie Leibowitz went horribly wrong.
Her Majesty had been feeling rather 'out of sorts', and needed to use the lavatory fairly urgently. She made a grim-faced lurch for the exit, and it was this that the BBC reported as a "storming-out".
The BBC say that the misunderstanding was all intended as part of Fake Week, initiated by Channel 4 for their Big Brother programme, but that they now regret having distorted the facts in such a disrepectful and treasonous way.
Buckingham Palace officials say the Queen has been mortally offended by the BBC's irresponsible actions, and will be contacting her hitman in due course.