Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 11 July 2007

image for Glasgow Airport Bomber Had Balls Of Steel, Says Cabbie
A ball of steel

One of the would-be terror bombers in the recent attempt to blow up Glasgow Airport had testicles made from high-grade steel, claims the taxi driver who apprehended him.

Alex McIlveen, 45, of Glasgow, was driving behind the burning jeep on Saturday 30th June, as it veered into the airport Terminal building and exploded into a ball of flames.

"Ar jumped oot o' ma cab and caught hold o' this Paki-looking fella", said the cabbie, "an' drop-kicked 'em strayt in the bollocks!" He never flenched - just stared back at mi! He must have had balls of steel!"

McIlveen, who was later found by a doctor to have a broken foot, was arrested by police at the scene, and charged with 'using unnecessary force' to restrain firestarter Khalid Ahmed, an unemployed terrorist of Lebanese extraction.

Mr Ahmed has also been arrested on charges of 'starting fires without good reason' and is being held by Strathclyde Police.

Detective Chief Superintendent Nick Wrongman, said:

"The gentleman was already well ablaze, and Mr McIveen did not need to intervene as he did. My officers are fully trained in dealing with a terrorist threat, and are entirely capable of kicking a man's balls in, without help from meddling members of the public. These Arabs though, they must have Balls of Steel!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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