Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 9 July 2007

image for New Seven Wonders Of The World List Contains Two Surprises
Dudley Bus Station

A survey carried out in the UK has revealed a major change in the public's perception of what constitutes a Wonder, with regard to the compilation of the list of the Seven Wonders Of The World.

All the old favourites are still on most people's lists - the Great Wall Of China, the Taj Mahal, the Colosseum in Rome, Machu Picchu in Peru and Mexico's famous Chichen Itza - but there are now also two new wonders, both, incredibly, in the West Midlands town of Dudley, England.

The most amazing new Wonder is Dudley Bus Station, a haphazard lumping-together of bus lanes, populated by decrepit vehicles hurtling life-threateningly back and forth, narrowly missing waiting passengers. To date, miraculously, no-one has been hurt.

Regular bus user Gladys Trout, 91, said:

"It ay 'alf dayngerous! It's a Wonder someone isn't killed there every day!"

The Seventh Wonder of the Modern World is the people of Dudley themselves. Local historian Dave Boynton, curator at the Black Country Museum, who compiled the unlikely new list, said:

"Dudley folk are brainless, lazy morons! It's a Wonder any of them manage to get out of bed in a morning!"

Others agreed. Long-time Hull resident Harry Enscombe, forced to live in the Black Country as the result of a ridiculous bet, said:

"I've never come across so many rude, ugly, overweight empty-headed scumbags as there are in Dudley. It's a Wonder they're considered part of the Human Race!"

At a Press conference at the Kopthorne Hotel in Dudley Mr Boynton later explained some of his choices:

"Although I've never been to the Great Wall Of China, I've heard it's good, whilst my wife says the Lamb Jalfrezi at the Taj Mahal is simply unbeatable."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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