International voting has decided it, Paris Hilton has been declared Number One of the Seven Wonders of the world. With her continued entertainment value to spoof writers everywhere. She was more than 10,000 points ahead of her husband to be Mark Lowton, whose enormous 100 foot wide waxed mustache won second place.
At third place was an unexplained elephant bone in the art gallery of the Thai National Museum in Bangkok Thailand. Fourth is the Durian, one of Asias favorite yet inexplicably smelly fruits - not to mention dangerous when still encased in its spiked housing. Fifth are squat toilets, nobody seems to like the damn things so why are they still in use? A true wonder! Number six, Mick Jagger's lips - Can they get any uglier?! An finally seventh is Kim Jung Il's hair. The only thing scarier than North Korea's nuclear policy is their leader's hair! Writers of the James Bond series could have created him.
Others close in the voting included George W. Bush's most recent brain scan which came up completely blank of any image.