Writers at internet magazine The Spoof have learned that their editor, Mark Lowton, is secretly the illegitimate love child of Snidely Whiplash and Sweet Nell Fenwick. Mark, who gets his light coloring from his mother, sometimes sports the handlebar mustache of his famous father.
Whiplash was the nemesis of Dudley Do-Right of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. He also went under the assumed name of Dick Dastardly when committing acts of crime in the United States. The girl of his affections, whom he was always tying to railroad tracks, was Nell Fenwick, She was also the object of affection of Do-Right, though he was too self absorbed and stupid to ever take advantage of her advances.
From his cell at Attica prison in New York, Snidely admitted to the relationship. "Nell liked it rough with the bad boys and liked to be tied up. I wasn't trying to get her killed on the railroad tracks, I was always doing her on the railroad tracks because that's where she liked it best."
This apparently explains Spoof Editor Mark Lowton's fascination with choo choo trains. His fiance also admitted that Mark "always wants to be tied up and have smoke blown into his face. He also is always playing with his large, handlebar mustache and greasing it. Every few months, I make him cut it off or trim it. He'll only do that if I dress up in a red military uniform and chase him around the room."