Written by Cal Jennings
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Friday, 6 July 2007

image for Smokers Unite and Warn Against Bans
This was a warning sign at the protest.

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington - Smokers united to protest smoking ban bills that have been passed, saying that it infringes on their Constitutional rights and the intent of our forefathers when they wrote the Declaration of Independence.

"What happened to the pursuit of happiness?" yelled one smoker who lit up a Big Bambu sized cigarette in the middle of a sporting arena.

The crowds panicked, fearing inhaling some second hand smoke, but the medical units who arrived didn't have to treat any of the crowd for smoke inhalation. There were a couple skinned knees from the panic, however.

"See?" asked one EMT official, "Second hand smoke causes skinned knees."

"Screw you," yelled a smoker, "smoke THIS!"

The smoker then handed him a Big Bambu sized cannabis cigarette and spat in his face. The EMT official quickly hid the extremely large joint under his shirt and left the arena.

"I don't know what people are so upset about after we smokers have gone through all the trouble of filtering it through our lungs," said the smoker.

Smokers warned that their rights being taken away weren't there last. One of them had learned that there is legislation pending that would ban horses, dogs, fires, littering, model airplanes, golf, firearms, archery, unauthorized vehicles, alcohol, and camping.

"When Bush declares himself emperor of the New World Order, everything fun will be banned," said the smoker. "If it can affect us, it can affect you, too. The only think that might possibly save us is voting for Ron Paul.

Cal Jennings agrees.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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