Written by Jim Dunson
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Friday, 6 July 2007

image for Tensions mount between Todd and Jason over which Queen album is better

The already tenuous relations between roommates and former best friends Todd Grayson and Jason Drake took another blow recently as both sides have recently decided to stop speaking to one another following weeks of disputes over which Queen album is better.

"Todd's assertion that A Night at the Opera is Queen's best album is a downright abomination. How can the residents of my room safely continue their lives there knowing that they share a wall with such a belligerent despot?" argued Jason.

Affairs between the two undergrads began to decline when during a meeting to deliberate which album should be used for an upcoming Queen themed party, Jason unilaterally selected the 1974 hit Sheer Heart Attack on the basis that it is, "like totally the best, ever".

"If I had known that he had such outrageous beliefs, I never would have answered his Craigslist ad in the first place" declared Todd.

Relations hit an all time low last March when Jason, under the cover of night, liberated an autographed Freddie Mercury poster from Todd's room in what has been famously called Operation Enduring Tigerclaw Missile Dog.

Apartment complex landlord Simon Fantana fears that if relations between the two do not improve soon then an all-out freeze out may be initiated which is likely to devastate the social lives of all people in the area.

To make matters worse, peace negotiator Allison Gordon's impartiality has been brought in to question when recent intelligence suggests that she may have made out with Todd during the 2006 New Year's party.

Analysts believe that if the two can at least recognize one another's right to like different Queen albums then a peace treaty could eventually be drafted. Unfortunately, Fantana is currently preoccupied with warning across the hall neighbor Craig from interfering in the conflict as he is suspected of holding a grudge against Jason for borrowing his Pink Floyd CD and losing it.

It is currently unknown whether or not the location will be safe for Oliver Stone to shoot his upcoming film based on the crisis.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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