BBC reporter Alan Johnston has this morning been released by Islamic militant forces who had been holding him hostage for 114 days.
Mr Johnston, 44, said he had been held by kidnappers in a Gaza strip joint and that his ordeal had been "fantastic". He had been treated well, and regaining his freedom again was like "being buried alive"
"There were girls everywhere, semi-nude, even some naked ones. I've never been in the company of such fetching young ladies before, and would like it known that I am grateful for having such kind, hospitable and caring hosts."
Mr Johnston was obviously suffering from post-hostage stress disorder, and was immediately whisked away to a Press conference, where he was bombarded with more inane questions than you could shake a stick at.
He had been handed over to officials of Hamas in the early hours of this morning, and said that he was thankful that the Hamas security forces hadn't blitzed the strip joint whilst he was being held.
"There's no point in ruining a good show", he said, "and you don't want people unnecessarily storming a building when you're being attended-to by some beautiful scantily-clad young lady, do you?"