APE Line - President Bush today shocked the world with another unexpected Pardon, this time to arch enemy Osama Bin Laden, Iran, Syria, Hezzbollah, Yassar Arafat, Fidel Castro, Kim Jong Ill and Princess Diana.
With President Putin at his side in Kennebunkport, President Bush said, "This week is a historic week in more ways than one. Not only have President Putin and myself put aside our differences, President Putin has convinced me to do the right thing and Pardon our common enemies. I'd like to say this decision was easy, but it wasn't until our second glass of vodka that I started to warm to the idea."
Through a translator President Putin responded, "President Bush is hurt by his approval ratings...he grows weak...he's an easy drunk...when he drinks vodka I get what I want every time...I don't know what else to say...I live to embarrass this man, he is a great deal of fun. He's so hung over at this moment he is in great pain. Thank you."