Dr. A.Q. Khan, the father of the Pakistani nuclear program who was recently pardoned for publicly confessing of making millions through illicit foreign nuclear sales to N.Korea and Libya, was arrested today at Dulles Airport carrying a 20-kiloton bomb in his luggage.
‘I'm really sorry' Dr Khan said to stunned officers, minutes after his arrest. ‘ I know this nuke loving thing I have is a nasty, kinky habit but I just cant get rid of it - I'm a sick man', Dr Khan pleaded. ‘ I have tried everything from acupuncture and yoga to meditation and the Atkins diet. I even joined the NFA (Nuclear Freaks Anonymous) but I'm still hooked to those god damned nucleus sons of guns', a sobbing Khan stated.
‘I'm no criminal, I need medical help. Following my confession of selling nuclear stuff to N.Korea and Libya, I swore never to touch radioactive material again - to start my life from the beginning. But when I saw that beautiful, round, 20kt H-Bomb sitting there, waiting to be smuggled I just couldn't fight the urge… I feel ashamed of my weakness now' Khan admitted before breaking down to tears.