In a surprising move, Osama Bin Laden has announced his candidacy for the 2008 United States presidential contest. After years of terrorist actions against the U.S. Bin Laden has decided to take over the country from within. "If you watch American infidel TV you will know that Americans are dumb enough to vote for anyone with a good advertising campaign."
"With my financial backing and leadership experience, I feel I can run a successful campaign," claims Bin Laden. "I already have supporters living in the U.S. and they will be glad to know they can help further the cause without blowing themselves up." Bin Laden admits the requirement that candidates be born in the U.S. is the biggest hurdle his campaign faces but, "We will worry about that after the election."
Bin Laden says he's tired of the fugitive life and the trials of cave living. He has made a deal with his arch enemy George W. Bush (He calls it a deal with the devil). Bin Laden will turn himself over to Bush, Bush will collect the mega-millions reward and in return pardon Bin Laden.
"He's willing to start over and begin a new life and work hard like all other new immigrants. And I gotta give him the chance to quit being a terrorist bad guy and become a normal corrupt politician," says Bush.