Written by ChillerBaggins
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Topics: Germany, Scientology

Sunday, 1 July 2007

image for Germany Surrenders To Scientologists
Valerie Dyke blew Hitlers pants off

GERMANY (Babelsberg) -- Deutschland today finally and unconditionally surrendered to the Scientologists.. "They are out of this world," said Reichstag mouth Klaus Brandauer, "and Germany looks to the future."

At the beginning of this week, Defense Ministry representative, Harald Kammerbanger had said that Cruise and company "will not be allowed to film at German military sites if Count Stauffenberg is shot by Tom Cruise, who has publicly professed to being abducted by aliens and probed. We don't know where he was probed, that's the problem."

The German film industry, however, sees Cruise and production partner Paula Wagner's film as an important piece of historical nonfiction, with Studio Babelsberg heads on poles -- calling "Valerie Dyke" one of the "too few examples of dyke's in opposition to Hitler's regime."

And now, it has been reported that while no official paperwork had been filed for the production as of yet, ministry officials have stated they would "look agreeably" upon any "Dyke" request..

The couch-jumping and love-declaring mini me muppet Cruise, beaming from ear-to-ear, seemed reasonably pleased.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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