Written by queen mudder
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Topics: China

Sunday, 1 July 2007

image for China finds secret John the Baptist tomb chamber
Some have always suspected John the Baptist was buried in China

Beijing - (Ass Mess): Chinese archaeologists are cock-a-hoop at finding a mysterious underground chamber inside an ancient imperial tomb guarded by the famous Terracotta Army which they believe holds the remains of New Testament hero John the Baptist.

Hysterical records show the tomb of China's first Qin dynasty emperor Qin Shihuang are actually a foil to deter marauding souvenir collectors looking for the bones of the twelve apostles.

using magnetic resonance imaging archaeologists from the country's Institute of Antiquities say they found incontrovertible proof at the site near the old imperial capital of Xian.

The news sent shockwaves through the vatican which did a deal with the Syrians in the 10th century AD just ahead of the Holy Roman Empire Crusades to claim John the Baptist is buries in a sacred Syrian site.

But the Chinese are now having none of this.

A press released today said that the body and some documentary remains are inside the chamber which is buried in a pyramidal earth mound 170 feet high on top of Qin's tomb enclosure.

The life-size terracotta warriors were planted to deflect attempts by early Christians, rabid, fanatical Popes and self-styled Holy Roman Emperors from ransacking the burial site and flogging off the remains to make a fortune.

Chinese authorities say they will exhume the remains in the near future and will publish all the documents interred in the tomb along with their master.

They also say this will prove once and for all that Jesus Christ did not die on the cross and that he was replaced with John the Baptist at his opwn insistence.

Other fairy tales such as Salome insisting on beheading the Baptist in another biblical story and Jesus Christ's supposed 'resurrection' will now also be debunked.

Pope Joseph Ratzinger is apoplectic.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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