Studies conducted on the International Space Station have revealed that aliens do indeed have vaginas. Not only do they have vaginas, they have spectacular, illuminated, steamy, pulsating, vibrating, suprisingly friendly vaginas.
People who have experienced them first hand have suppressed the fact that aliens have such fantastic, aromatic vaginas; they don't want to share these unbelievable, irresistible fun holes.
Rick Smith, a remote Mohave desert resident said, "Hey, I live in one of the most deserted areas on the planet, aliens are all over the place, they're flying around all night, climbing through the tumble weeds, occasionally they stop by for coffee, they don't know coffee is an aphrodisiac to them, so I get to play with, spectacular, aromatic illuminated, steamy, pulsating, cooperative, vibrating, fantastic, irresistible vaginas, all the time. I probably should not be telling any one about this cuz they'll all want to find one to play with too."
Recently a British Air flight encountered a UFO that was a mile wide, the passangers and the crew were abducted and they all remember the experience vividly. One passanger said, "you've never seen so many vaginas in one place, it was like a mile of spectacular, illuminated, steamy, pulsating, vibrating, fantastic, aromatic, irresistible cooperative, suprisingly friendly vulvas, Hott!!! Damn!!!"
The government has been looking into the military applications for these spectacular, illuminated, aromatic, steamy, pulsating, vibrating, fantastic, irresistible vaginas, it seems they also have power to render normal soldiers susceptible to the power of suggestion, almost any suggestion.
The Society for the Prevention of Abuse to Vaginas is vigorously objecting to alien vaginas, citing immanent domain, They claim alien vaginas should sign a no compete clause and refrain from being, aromatic, spectacular, illuminated, steamy, pulsating, vibrating, fantastic, irresistible, cooperative vaginas and limit themselves to earthly, slippery when wet.
From the desk of
Buck E Filbert