CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Alaska - The Corrupt Bastards Club, which has been meeting in Alaska near TheSpoof.com writer Gnarly Erik's home, has found itself so busy with court hearings that they have decided to open a day care center for all the Corrupt Bastards on trial. In order to keep with Corrupt Bastards Club standards, they chose Michael Jackson to run the day care center.
The day care center will be a first class operation, offering all the free Jesus Juice the kids want. Jackson is having his new version of "I Touch Myself" as well as "Smooth Criminal," "Money," "I Can't Help It," abd "Beat It" piped in on the Bang and Oulfsen speakers which project the song in Skywalker Sound 9.0 Holographic Surround Sound.
A Corrupt Bastards Club spokesperson said, "I believe Michael Jackson will be able to give the kids plenty to do. We couldn't have picked a better white man for the job."