Written by Mike Elliott

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Topics: Farting, Earth

Monday, 16 February 2004

A farting tax has been announced by the United Nations yesterday to help combat the number of green house emitions being emited into the Ozone Layer. The farting tax will effect every country on planet Earth.

If a person is cough breaking wind, $2 will have to be put into a swear jar type system. The money will then be used to plant a tree to help the environment. And for those repeat offenders they will be sentenced to 1 year in the local gas chamber.

The new tax will see an end to old party gags such as the "Light my farts up with a cigarette lighter", the "Guess what I had for lunch" and the world famous "pull my finger".

When the tax was announced lepers from all walks of life celebrated. Jim bob a 22 year old leper from Norway says "I've lost all but one finger doing the 'pull my finger' prank. Now I can breathe easier!"

The United Nations has set up an army operation called "U-Fart" which will be combatting against stinkies.

Farmers are outraged as most will have to sell their stock due "wind restrictions". According to scientists, if animals aren't given the permission to fart they explode.

Heinz, the worlds No.1 manufacturer of baked beans is currently undertaking legal action. As the new legislation will eventually see 2,000,000 factory workers without work.

No doubt this tax will start another world war in the near, not to distant future.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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