Written by Jalapenoman
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Monday, 18 June 2007

image for Vote For The Newest Seven Wonders of The World
On the actual list, without any dispute, is the Colesium

A group from Lisbon is asking web users around the globe to vote on the latest list of Seven Wonders of the World. Voters will have until early July to cast their ballots to determine which seven man made objects created before the year 2000 will be the winners.

As expected, the nominees include such things as The Great Wall of China, the Easter Island statues, the Taj Mahal, the city of Petra, and the Sydney Opera House.

No one, among the voters, is surprised by any of the seemingly worthy 21 entries on the list. People are upset, however, at the items missing from that group.

Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore is upset that the internet, a system that he claims to have invented as a university student is not on the list.

President George "Dubya" Bush is shocked that the Iraqi army's weapons of mass destruction have not been added to the list, as the CIA and Donald Rumsfeld have conclusive evidence that they exist.

While the Great Pyramids and the pyramids at Chichen Itza are on the list, notably absent are the pyramids of Dolly Parton.

Also noticeably absent is the world's oldest living and most chemically preserved man, musician Keith Richards of The Rolling Stones.

The Chinese government expressed displeasure that the Forbidden City was not on the list, even though photographers were forbidden to take pictures of it.

Spaniards were also upset at the omission of their giants, who still exist a few hundred years after being brought to their knees in battle against Don Quixote De La Mancha.

Israel is also upset about thier glaring omissions: the hilltop city of Masada and the temple of Herod (even though only one wall of it remains, and the wailing wall was only a retaining wall and not really part of the structure).

Equally upset are the Moslems that Mecca was not included on the list. Unlike the Chinese, who refused a photographer access to the Forbidden City, the Arabs killed two infidels who dared to enter Mecca and have declared jihad against the Kodak corporation.

The world's two greatest egos, Rush Limbaugh and Rosie O'Donnell, were also upset at their omission. No one, however, cared to take the time to interview them for this article.

Another glaring omission was the size of the medical bills of Paris Hilton for birth control and venerial disease prevention. Spoof writer Buck E. Filbert is personally looking into that story.

Other items missing from the list that have some people upset include:
The blinding, alabastar whiteness of the Osmond family teeth.
The incredibly low number of the populatity rating of George Bush.
The number of people in the world who become violently ill at the mention of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, or Anna Nicole Smith.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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