AP Newsliar -- Suzy Snowflake, a relatively obscure wintry snow-nymph, has been denied entry into the pantheon of mythical faerie-like creatures.
The vote was unanimous in favor of rejecting her application for membership. Says Jack Frost: "There's already a winter-themed mythical figure, and that's me, boyo. I'm not sharing center stage with some freezer-burned tart dressed up like a fecking snowflake."
"Where did this trollop come from?" asks the Tooth Fairy. "Nobody's ever heard of her before. Far as we know, she's just some bimbo in a costume. She doesn't even have any magical powers! How lame is that?"
Says Cupid: "I seem to recall some kind of movie or musical or something with a song regarding a Suzy Snowflake. I think Rosemarie Clooney sang it? Or maybe it was Rosie O'Donnell. I always get those two confused. Anyway, this Suzy's just not enough of a well known figure to be in our little club."
Mother Nature, Mister Sandman, and the rest of the pantheon declined comment. When asked her opinion, Tinkerbell haughtily pointed her nose in the air and farted a stream of pixie dust.