Vatican Shitty - (Ass Mess): George W Bush is heading to Rome after the G8 meeting to answer a few tricky questions regarding his whereabouts on the night of 20 June 1982 when God's Banker Roberto Calvi accidentally murdered himself in London following the pillaging of the Vatican Bank and the financial annihilation of the Banco Ambrosiano.
Bush has steadfastly refused to answer questions about being breathalised that evening after leaving a Mayfair brothel in central London in a hired car.
But now that all five suspects that he framed for Calvi's murder have been acquitted Pope Ratzinger is said to be shitting himself and demanding answers from Bush under the priviledged protection of the confessional.
Luckily for the CIA its European HQ has been in Rome for the last seven years and every Pontifical orifice, chamber, bolt hole and broom cupboard is groaning with enough electrical wiring to eavesdrop on a mouse taking a piss.
Tomorrow's scheduled meeting between the two Anti-Christs has been billed as their first ever "but we know different" is the unofficial Agency line.
"Maybe he'll give Bush penance afterwards," one source close to the wiretap machine said today.
"We could vid that and post it on YouBoob. Might get a few laughs".
Joseph Ratzinger is 84.