The National Enquirer, Globe and various other tabloid newspapers have put out a bounty for the first Paris Hilton jail pictures. The paparazzi are drooling all over themselves trying to figure out a way to dig their claws into the "money shot".
Speculation among Paris insiders says, Paris will, in another diabolical, masterminded plot, to manipulate the media for her own evil purposes, will have one of the guards secretly take photographs of her while in jail. She will then split the proceeds with the guard.
Not that Paris Hilton needs the cash, but why let a golden opportunity like this slip by. Jail pictures of Hilton would be among the highest price paid for celebrity pictures in the history of , "celebinfatuation".
If Hilton were to leak pictures herself and split the profits with a guard, that guard would make, $250,000.00. That figure represents 8 years work for a 1-4 year jailer who's salary averages $30,000 a year.
Now Paris on the other hand stands to make $12,000.00 a day during her incarceration if she were to coordinate this effort. Not only would Paris make $12,000.00 a day for her stay but if she were to have daily pictures taken she'd have photographic evidence to accompany the journal she's keeping on all her deep musings during her vastly, unfair, incarceration.
Time for a Buck E prediction, there will undoubtedly be Paris Hilton jail pictures in fact there'll be a gallery showing at a Beverly Hills art shop owned by one of Paris's BFF's, after she's release from the Paris Hilton.
Anything less would be a deeply disappointing and a blown golden opportunity.
Paris Hilton is a wolf in bimbos clothing.
From the desk of
Buck E Filbert