World Bank Headquarters (Washington Post) - In a surprise move timed to coincide with a rare overseas trip by President Bush, outgoing World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz announced that his Deathstar will be fully functional in exactly one week. Wolfowitz was expected to step down at the end of June, but those plans appear to have changed.
"There is no need for Mr. Putin to be afraid of missile defense. Instead he should be afraid of my Deathstar..." announced the former U.S. Deputy Secretary of Defense.
Standing firmly behind Wolfowitz at his impromptu press conference were Vice President Dick Cheney, former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld and the apparition of actor Charles Nelson Reilly.
"Either my demands are met or Earth will be destroyed" he concluded.