Moscow - (Ass Mess): An increasingly paranoid Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin has threatened to 'nuke the shit' out of Europe if the CIA outs Pope Josef Ratzinger as his father and nails him for the 1982 murder of God's Bank Roberto Calvi.
Putin has been corralled into a hellhole of his own making according to NATO military sources who also state unequivocally that he was an equal partner with George Bush, Tony Blair and Osama Bin Laden in the 9/11 atrocity.
Subsequent terror attacks including the 2005 Madrid train bombings as well as the London 7/7 massacres have also been attributed to a team of his personal ex-KGB thugs in London who bankrolled the New Labour Party into office in 1997 by a massive bank heist involving the Hong Kong-based HSBC.
This Wednesday's start to the annual cringefest that is the G8 meeting may have to be cancelled according to some sources after Putin threatened to throw a wobbly and denounce his Bush/Blair ex-partners in the World Trade Center attack.
A source close to the Germany law enforcement team in charge of security for the G8 meeting said the situation was teetering on the verge of collapse and that they may not have the capabilities of restraining the madman Putin if he runs amok like he has threatened to do.
Lord Levy is under sedation.