London AssPress:- A London man was shocked to open his snail mail this morning to find an official Queen telegram, congratulating him upon the event of his having written his 100th story for world renowned satirical sweat shop, The.Spoof.com.
The London man, Matt Hatt, said "I was shocked when I opened my mail this morning, as there was a Queen telegram. It was saying congratulations for having written my 100th story" he continued. "I have been writing stories for that world famous Low Tone brothers and their seminal website, The.Spoof.com. It doesn't pay very well but then again, I don't really want them releasing them photographs of me to the press. How on earth they managed to get them is a mystery, they must have some very dedicated and sick minded individuals in their employ"
The Low Tone brothers have been running their media empire from a secret base thought to be in South America or somewhere near the Pennines, a small to medium sized mountain range in the Midlands of England. The police from countries, possibly other than just England, have attempted to track them down and bring their humorous but evil empire to an end but to no avail.
"They are like the Robin Hoods of humour," said one writer who didn't wish to be named for fear of reprisals and a cut in wages "they take from those of us rich in humour and give it to those who have none. A laudable goal" the penniless satire scribbler continued "but at what cost?" He wailed, as he broke into tears over his ink stained bed, where he is housed in battery hen like conditions with literally, tens of other writers.
At the time of going to press, the Low Tone brothers are still evading capture and therefore unavailable for comment.
Matt Hatt said "Leave me alone! Aren't you people ever satisfied? "
The Queen who sent the telegram was untraceable, but thought to be a different Queen from the one that used to run England before Tony Blair came to the throne.