CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Atlanta, GA - Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the CDC, has detained TheSpoof.com writer, Cal Jennings, claiming that he had T.B. and had him arrested by the S.S. It has been alleged that Jennings endangered passengers and citizens by driving in from Canada and taking several international flights after departing from Atlanta, GA. Cal-el was thought, at first, to be a woman because of his long hair.
Unbeknownst to Bush Administration CDC doctors, Cal Jennings is really Cal-el, Superman's illegitimate half-brother from Krypton and he doesn't use airlines to fly. His superior Kryptonian anti-bodies would kill the inferior Earth strains of T.B. on contact, so there would be no chance of him spreading the disease if he HAD taken a plane.
Doctors thought it unusual, at first, that the needles kept breaking and bending when they tried to take a blood sample from Cal-el, but they blamed it on the inferior steel used by the Corrupt Bastards Club who sold them the needles under an open-ended, cost plus contract.
Cal-el could not expose the lies of the administration for fear of exposing his secret identity. Due to this unusual situation and the suspension of habeas corpus by the Patriot Acts, Cal-el will be detained indefinitely.