CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington - Lurita Doan is the latest Repbulican to come down with the dreaded memory loss disease that seems to be overtaking any Republican who has to testify in government investigations. The first Republican hit was Judge Alberto Gonzales, who also displayed the symptoms of the disease.
The symptoms appear to be caused by a rare strain of Avain Flu, according to a Republican doctor hired by President George W. Bush. "The symptoms include memory loss, paranoia, and the inability to interpret data plainly displayed in front of those affected. Other symptoms include stuttering, lying, and forgetting the title of the person they are speaking to," said Dr. I.M. Paidwell.
The disease is making it increasingly harder for investigators to get straight answers in their hearings. Worries are that this disease will spread throughout all those Republicans who haven't already been infected with the disease.
"For some reason," said Dr. Paidwell, "The symptoms only occur when the infected person is a member of the Republican Party and they are called to testify to the Attorney General or speak to the press or the American public. President Bush was the first to contract these symptoms, but they seem to be spreading, and there is no known cure."
Doan's Little Liver Pills didn't seem to help.