Prince Harry has been told that he will not go to do army stuff in Southern Iraq as it is too dangerous.
An army bloke quite high up said that some of those guys have some sharp knives and pointy spears that could easily take out an eye or give somebody a nasty cut on the head. A cut on the head can produce a lot of blood and look quite serious but usually they are only small and look much worse than they really are.
It is suspected that if the Harry sustained a cut of this nature, the Queen may get a bit frightened and she could cry.
The Charles who originally fertilised the egg produced in his Mother's fallopian tubes said that he wanted him deployed to a place where his life was not threatened. It was then pointed out that it was not the Charles's life that was at risk.
Army chiefs have allegedly informed The Spoof that the Harry will redeployed at Harrods in England's London city.
"He is in the Household Cavalry, so we think it would be appropriate for the Harry to work in the Housewares department, pricing up some kitchen stuff with one of those guns with the price labels in them. They're really good and we know he likes them.", said a spokesman for people who had once been to Harrods and kept the carrier bag to show off to their friends.
The MOD are expected to unveil their new range of kitchen appliances at Harrods on Friday.