Canada's Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, announced today that Canada would rejoin the UK (United Kingdom) and renounce its independence. "Being on our own is just too much work," Harper explained, "particularly when you've got this 800 kilogram gorilla next door."
Outgoing UK Prime Minister Tony Blair joined Harper at a press conference in London. He said this was his greatest accomplishment in his political career, and that the combined UK would celebrate this moment for centuries.
European Union officials could not be reached for any comment as to whether Canada would be accepted into the EU framework. French President Nicolas Sarkozy is said to be supportive of the planned merger, as France will be getting most of Quebec in the deal. US President George W. Bush also welcomed the move, saying he "could never tell the difference between the two countries anyway."
There have been some unconfirmed reports that the province of Alberta may opt out of the deal, and either go independent or join the US, either as the 51st state, or as a part of Montana. Albertans are known for their independence and their love of guns, which would not sit well with British gun regulations.